Relationships Ė Insane Jealousy

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Published: 16th November 2010
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You feel uncomfortable that he works in an office with other attractive women. It irks you that he has 75% women as his Facebook friends. You want to go downright postal when he goes to hang out without you. Whatís the main issue here? Trust. Itís the number one ingredient to any successful relationship. It doesnít matter how compatible you are sexually, intellectually or even emotionally because if you have a lack of trust and turn green with envy whenever he smiles at the cashier at the checkout counter, your relationship will deteriorate. For some people, trust is easy: they give it automatically until they are given reason to take it away. In other words they say, "I expect you to be faithful so I will trust you. Until I see a pack of condoms in your gym bag, go out and have fun with the boys." Your man, whoís on the receiving end of your precious gift of trust, is responsible for protecting your heart. For the vast majority of us who may know better, due to infidelity scandals in our parentsí, friendsí or personal lives, and other battle scars, we need undeniable proof that you are being legitimate. No one can fault you for being leery, especially when you first meet a guy, but there has to be some range of appropriateness. You can browse his Facebook page every now and again, but you shouldnít be following (stalking) your dude when he leaves work.

Itís normal to get jealous occasionally. When you think someone is actively pursuing or trying to take your man away from you, itís natural to feel a twinge of jealousy. But it logically progresses into trust and reassurance that your man loves you and she canít take him away from you, unless he has a history of situations with different women. The "normal" feelings of jealousy become outrageously psychotic and irrational if within the same scenario you prank call the chickís phone, approach her in the parking lot as sheís exiting her job or spreads wild rumors about her in the local hot spots. The difference between "normal" jealousy and "crazy" jealousy is that people who experience "crazy" jealousy wild out with every single person she dates. When she pauses to think about it, she realizes that her behavior may be irrational, but even more so, thoughts of her boyfriend taking up time with someone else forces her hand. Self-esteem is a major factor in your degree of jealous behavior.

I once dated a guy (who will remain nameless) who absolutely hated the fact that I had male friends. These guy pals were truly indeed my platonic friends, but my boyfriend was not having it. One friend in particular, Iíll call him Greg, was just about my right arm whenever I wasnít with my dude. My dude called Greg, threatened him on more than one occasion and forbid me to see him or face serious consequences. Now, he wasnít physically abusive, but his irrational over-the-top jealousy was frightening. I was concerned about what he would do when if I decided to end the relationship. My man was very attractive too, and I was totally in love with him, but for some reason he didnít have the reassurance that he was the person I was committed to. I finally decided to end our relationship the night he "asked" his pitbull to "watch" me so I wouldnít leave his apartment to go to a party with my girlfriends. I was in his apartment on a brief visit on my way to meet the girls. So, he decided to put his pitís leash around the doorknob of the front door so I wouldnít exit. He knew I was terrified of the dog and that I wouldnít go near the door. No matter how desperately I tried to convince him that he had no reason to feel jealous over my interaction with other guys, he refused to believe me. Once it became too late for me to meet up with my girlfriends, he cleared the pit away for me to leave. And, that was the last time I went back to his place. It was definitely o-v-e-r.

Itís pretty obvious to spot the couple who have issues with jealousy: they never go anywhere. Itís too much of a potential for drama if they chill outside the home to where other beautiful people socialize. The television might even have to be turned off because one or the other might find a person on the show or movie to be attractive, which will certainly cause drama in the house. Jealousy wonít stop people from being unfaithful, and if you or he continues to make life a living hell he might dump you.

There are some ways to deal with and, hopefully, conquer this intense behavior. Try to identify the reason for your insecurity. What happened in your past to make you so distrustful? Improve your self-esteem. Try a new, trendy hairstyle or buy a new wardrobe. Make him see how damn hot you are and non-competitive to the other women in the street.

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